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Have you ever wondered, “What can I contribute?” Here’s how Tony and Marcy transformed Kelowna Fuckup Nights
When Tony and Marcy believed that being part of a community starts with asking yourself what you can contribute, not what you can get out of it
By:
Blanca Smith
When Tony and Marcy moved to Kelowna, they believed that being part of a community starts with asking what you can contribute, not what you can get out of it. They asked themselves a question that few dare to ask: "How can we contribute?"
Their journey with the movement didn’t begin by organizing events, but on a stage in Calgary. There, they shared their own failures with a level of honesty that surprised even themselves, and the response was immediate: the audience connected because it felt real. Upon arriving in Kelowna, they realized there was room for that same much-needed conversation within the local community.
The Impact: Giving Ourselves Permission to Be Human
For Tony and Marcy, the most significant outcome in Kelowna been giving themselves permission—permission to talk about failure without shame and to be human in a corporate culture that often values a perfect image over the truth. Fuckup Nights Kelowna became the place where people could finally “breathe a sigh of relief.”
Tony often says that the real privilege isn't being on stage or organizing the event, but watching what happens in the room. A speaker comes on stage carrying years of self-doubt, tells their story honestly, and leaves feeling noticeably lighter. All around the room, you can almost see people thinking, "I thought I was the only one."
Those moments remind him and Marcy why the episode exists.
Fuckup Nights a reality on the table: failure is just a moment in your life—it’s not what defines you. Every person who takes the stage is living proof of that. The audience doesn’t remember them because they failed; they remember them because they were brave enough to tell the truth.
Significance: Stories That Change Lives
The impact extends far beyond the event itself. Tony recalls someone who, after a talk, confessed to having carried the burden of a business failure for years in private and with great shame. Hearing others’ stories gave them the courage to finally talk about their own experience—first with their partner and later with their colleagues.
From that night on, their lives didn't just revolve around that failure. Their business hadn't changed. Their past hadn't changed. But the story they told themselves had, and that changed everything.
Community Growth in Kelowna
They began their journey as organizers in December 2021.
They have built a community of nearly 3,000 local followers.
Events are constantly selling out, sometimes forcing them to add a second night.
They have limited the capacity to fewer than 100 people to protect privacy.
90% of its audience is female, even though that wasn't the plan.
Why We Choose Depth Over Big Numbers
As organizers, they have made a conscious decision not to expand on a massive scale in order to protect the integrity of the experience.
Tony and Marcy have always been drawn to what they call “smokestack entrepreneurs”: people who quietly employ others, pay payroll every month, and shoulder the responsibility of supporting their families. When their businesses face difficulties, the impact extends far beyond the balance sheet. It affects marriages, families, trust, and identity.
These are the stories we believe deserve to be heard.
For Tony, the power of Fuckup Nights Kelowna liesKelowna in its scale, but in the depth of the connection forged with attendees. Keeping the event small ensures that these human stories—and not just the financial figures—receive the respect and attention they deserve.
"Remember that people don't come to hear polished success stories; they come to feel less alone. Create a space where people feel safe enough to speak the truth, and others feel safe enough to listen. If you protect that, everything else will fall into place."
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