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Have you ever asked yourself, "What can I contribute?" Here’s how Tony and Marcy transformed Kelowna with Fuckup Nights
When Tony and Marcy moved to Kelowna, they believed that becoming part of a community starts by asking what you can contribute, not what you can take from it.
By:
Blanca Smith
When Tony and Marcy moved to Kelowna, they believed that becoming part of a community starts by asking what you can contribute, not what you can take from it. They asked themselves a question few dare to formulate with sincerity: "What can we contribute?"
Their journey with the movement didn't start by organizing, but on a stage in Calgary. There, they shared their own failure with a level of honesty that took even them by surprise, and the response was immediate: people connected because it felt real. Upon arriving in Kelowna, they felt there was space for that same necessary conversation within the local community.
The Impact: Giving Permission to be Human
For Tony and Marcy, the most meaningful outcome in Kelowna has been giving permissionPermission to talk about failure without shame and to be human in a business culture that often rewards a perfect image over the truth. Fuckup Nights Kelowna became the place where people could finally "exhale."
Tony often says the privilege isn’t standing on the stage or organizing the evening—it’s watching what happens in the room. A speaker arrives carrying years of self-judgment, tells their story with honesty, and leaves noticeably lighter. Around the room you can almost see people thinking, “I thought I was the only one.”
Those moments remind him and Marcy why the chapter exists.
Fuckup Nights brings a reality to the table: failure is an event, not an identity. Every person who stands on stage is living proof of that. The audience doesn’t remember them because they failed; they remember them because they were courageous enough to tell the truth.
Transcendence: Stories That Change Lives
The impact goes far beyond the room. Tony recalls someone who, after an event, confessed to carrying the weight of a business failure for years in private and with a lot of shame. Hearing others gave them the courage to finally talk about their own story—first with their partner and later with peers.
From that evening forward, they no longer introduced themselves by the worst chapter of their life. Their business hadn’t changed. Their past hadn’t changed. But the story they told themselves had—and that changed everything.
The Kelowna Chapter by the Numbers
They began their journey as organizers in December 2021.
They have built a community of nearly 3,000 local followers.
Events consistently sell out, often requiring them to add a second night.
They have intentionally capped attendance at under 100 people to protect the quality and intimacy of the experience.
90% of their audience is female, though this was never intentionally planned.
Is everything okay with your team?
Bring Fuckup Nights Your Company
Corporate initiatives in psychological safety that leverage failure as a tool for cost reduction, productivity, employee satisfaction, and innovation.
As organizers, they have made a conscious decision not to grow massively in order to protect the integrity of the experience.
Tony and Marcy have always been drawn to what they call “smokestack entrepreneurs”—the people who quietly employ others, meet payroll every month, and carry the responsibility of providing for families. When their businesses struggle, the impact extends far beyond the balance sheet. It reaches into marriages, families, confidence and identity.
Those are the stories we believe deserve to be heard.
For Tony, the power of Fuckup Nights Kelowna doesn't reside in scale, but in the depth of the connection created in the room. Keeping the space small ensures that these human stories—not just financial figures—receive the respect and attention they deserve.
"Remember that people aren’t coming to hear polished success stories—they’re coming to feel less alone. Create a room where people feel safe enough to tell the truth, and others feel safe enough to hear it. If you protect that, everything else will follow."
Do you want to be part of the next chapter?
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