There are so many benefits to examining the relationship between our work life and our home life. We spend most of our lives at work—a significant portion of our days and weeks is spent in a work environment away from home and family and friends. Work also cuts into the time we have for hobbies and health, depending on what your workweek looks like. We also know that the people we work with—our teams and our boss—can have a huge impact on our mental health.
So why is it that this relationship—the one between us and our job—isn’t examined and evaluated a little more closely? We can spend hours at a restaurant with a friend talking about a potential romantic partner—do their values align with ours? What’s their long-term vision? Do they want kids or marriage? We want to know exactly what’s on the table with this new person, and how they will contribute to our lives.
When it comes to jobs, however, we don't spend nearly as much time evaluating the important factors that also contribute to our overall happiness—even though we commit to a work relationship that might even outlast our romantic ones! Many of us are in jobs that no longer make us happy, have become detrimental to our health, or are eating away at our hobbies and the time we spend doing fun activities—living life. Because outside of our work life, our real life exists, patiently waiting for us to spend more time with it. And if we don’t evaluate potential employers based on whether working for them aligns with our values, we may up in a job that checks all the financial boxes but takes away so much time from the real world that it becomes unsustainable.
And just as with a romantic partner, we’re looking for that perfect balance between togetherness and teamwork—but also independence and autonomy over our own lives. Ideally, we want a job that challenges us and gives us a sense of purpose, one that keeps us engaged during work hours; but we should also be able to happily and easily spend time away from work doing things that bring us joy. The key here is being able to 'separate with ease'. If you have difficulty leaving work, finishing work, or even switching off from work when you are at home—it’s akin to having a romantic partner who can’t let you do anything on your own.
When we first start working at a new company, we want to begin evaluating the employer in a few different areas to see if they align with our current life goals and our personal values. It’s a bit like a first date; by taking a little extra time at the beginning of a job huntto figure out what we want and what would positively contribute to our lives through work—we avoid potential heartbreak down the road.
Figure out what's important to you in a week
Do you have commitments related to classes, hobbies, or your children and family? Do you need to pick up your kids from school? Or do you go to yoga on Thursday mornings? What you're looking for is your non
From the things you need to do during the week to feeling your best. If there’s something you have to do that’s essential to your ability to function at your best during the week—it’s not something you should ever sacrifice for a job. Once you identify these needs, they’ll point you toward a work style that best suits you. Someone who needs to pick up their kids from school may a casual or part-time role. The early riser who goes for a run at 6 a.m. may perfectly fine with a 9-to-5 full-time role.
Figure out what your values are
This is a tough question, but you'll at least be able to name one or two off the top of your head. What are the things that get you fired up in a debate? The things you'll fight for, support, and make happen no matter what. This speaks to your personality and what you value most in life. If you prioritize special occasions and celebrating loved ones, then “Family” might be a key value. If you have a wellness routine that you stick to—including vitamins and cold plunges—then “Health” might be one of your values. Then, look at the company you’re interviewing for—try to see where your values are reflected in the company’s products, services, or overall culture.
Figure out what your Future Vision is
No doubt you’ve always had dreams—things you want to achieve in your lifetime. Experiences you still want to have. Get a clear picture of what your life will look like in five years. You don’t need to look too far ahead—just get a general idea of how you see yourself. If you see yourself owning a home, for example, you would assess the company’s salary and determine whether it will support the budget you need to make your dream of owning a home a reality. If you want to travel and visit as many countries as possible, but the company doesn’t have a flexible work model or flexible leave programs, this doesn’t align with your future vision either. Or, if starting a family or even running a side business is part of your future vision, you would look for a company that supports hybrid work arrangements.
Think about how you want to feel when you finish work
This is a tricky one. Some might laugh and say, “I’m not exhausted,” but it’s important to recognize that everyone is different in terms of what they gain and expect from a “hard day’s work.” For some, it’s all about feeling exhausted yet satisfied, because that means they’ve worked hard to achieve a successful outcome. A feeling of mild tiredness and a sense of accomplishment is completely normal. For others, they want to feel joyful and for work to “lift them up”—to end the day with a sense of gratitude and a feeling of having contributed to the world. How you feel about your job on a Sunday night before you get up on Monday to go to work says everything about whether this relationship is right for you. Make sure the nature of the job itself (by reviewing the job description) aligns with how much energy you want to expend—and therefore how you want to feel at the end of the day.
As the old saying goes, you’re interviewing the company just as much as they’re interviewing you. But in practice, this is quite difficult for many people to do. Once the process is underway and you’re halfway through the hiring process, it can start to feel hard to back out if the job isn’t the right fit. And it’s completely normal to even feel pressure—both financially and in terms of convenience—to take the job right in front of you. Certainly, the world is getting more and more expensive, and putting food on the table is the top priority. That’s why it’s important to assess the job we want before we even start looking. Think of it as mental preparation: if we have a roadmap for what we don’t want and what we do want in a job, and we’re clear on our own needs and goals—well, we’re more likely to find a job that’s a perfect fit.
By considering these four simple principles, we can ensure that when we sign the contract, we are bringing a new relationship into our lives that will support and uplift us—contributing to our broader life goals—just as a romantic partner should!
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