“You are not special” or, the less radical “everyone is special”

‍

I’ve been working on self-improvement for a year and a half now (you know the whole “be 1% better every day” thing), and recently I came across a phrase that really got me thinking. “You are not special”—or, the less radical version, “everyone is special.”

‍

At first, I was like, “Yeah, of coursem special”—I mean, obviously everyone is unique in their own way—but three days later I realized that I was actually shocked and really moved by that sentence.

‍

I don’t know how you feel about it, but I was pretty angry at the time. I realized that all this time I had been subconsciously thinking that I was special, and that I had to show everyone just how special I am—and why they should be looking at me, listening to me, or appreciating me. I was angry because I felt like someone had lied to me.

‍

To stop feeling like a victim, I decided to read a little more. What I learned was that the idea behind “you are not special” is to understand that when we try to be special, we begin to separate ourselves from one another and start to view the world in terms of social classes, race, or sexual orientation, etc.

‍

This makes us want to compete against one another and prove that we are better—and the result is the world we live in today: a world where everyone is constantly trying to show everyone else how valuable they are, but also stepping on anyone who wants to be better than them.

‍

When you realize that everyone is special, and you truly believe it from the bottom of your heart, that’s when you understand that there’s no need to prove anything—and, more importantly, that you’re no better than anyone else—which allows you to grow and bring about change.

‍

As I was reading this, I was thinking about how it might relate to Fuckup Nights and our community—and I think it’s because when we choose to talk about failure, we start to grow. Being a loser or making mistakes is looked down upon, because we all believe we need to be special—and in order to be special, we have to be perfect all the time. There’s no room for mistakes.

‍

I invite you to think more deeply about these notions of “being special” and “being unique,” which constantly haunt us and urge us to set ourselves apart from one another. Not because you aren’t smart, or you’re not good enough to do x y. But because even if you’re amazing at public speaking, or design, or coding, you’re going to meet people who are better than you, and that’s okay—because we’re here to learn from each other, and to share our abilities to create amazing things and find balance.

‍

Don’t forget: “You are not special” or, as I like to say, “we are all special.”