Transcript

Perfectionism and procrastination: two sides of the same coin

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Welcome to your course on perfectionism and procrastination from Mujeres Sin Filtro. We’re Fuckup Nights in this video we’ll explore some questions related to this topic: Where does the need to be perfect come from? How does this self-imposed pressure affect us? How is perfectionism related to procrastination?

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There is a tendency to view things in terms of all or nothing. If something isn’t flawless, then it’s terrible; if you don’t see the white, there’s only black. We assume that the opposite of something bad must necessarily be good. 

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What happens when we strive for perfection in everything we do? Or when anxiety makes us want to avoid things and we can’t seem to get started on anything? Starting a new venture—and the possibility of failing in the process—can lead us to perfectionism or procrastination. Both outcomes stem from the same root cause: the pressure to be perfect.

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A World Bank study has shown that the entrepreneurial sectors in which men are active are more profitable than those in which other genders are active. In México, according to INEGI, only three out of every ten businesses started in the country are led by women. With these figures in mind, it’s not hard to see why women and people of diverse sexual orientations are expected to stand out, excel at everything, and never fail.

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Perfectionism is tied to our life experiences and the expectations placed on us. Whether we set unrealistic goals for ourselves or lose motivation at the slightest setback. 

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It happens when we think a race wasn’t a success until we finally cross the finish line—and only if we come in first, unable to acknowledge the training and effort that got us there. Perfectionism prevents us from appreciating our journey and the nuances of failure.

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We become obsessed with doing things flawlessly. Because our credibility, our competence, and our self-worth are at stake—or so we think. What we forget is that every process involves learning, mistakes, fear, and doubts.

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Perfectionism can also lead to anxiety and impulsive behavior. This is similar to procrastination, except the effect is the opposite: an inability to act. This phenomenon causes us to put off taking actions that feel threatening—or even exciting! For example, when I tackle all the small tasks on my to-do list but avoid “the big task” that matters most to me.

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Sometimes this phenomenon can be seen as an excuse for not getting things done. However, in most cases, it has to do with a mechanism that protects us from fear and the pressure to be perfect. It affects how we manage stress, how we criticize ourselves, and how we relate to others. 

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How does procrastination affect us?

‍Since itcauses a delay in our work, it can make us feel unmotivated and paralyze us. We may feel guilty, inadequate, and like failures. At this stage, we are unable to make decisions or take action, and we enter a cycle of self-sabotage that pushes us further away from our goals and desires. 

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Feeling paralyzed when faced with a project, or putting in an excessive amount of effort in an unhealthy way, can be symptoms of the same problem: the excessive pressure we place on ourselves. Failure is simply not an option for us.

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At Mujeres Sin Filtro a section—as a complement to this video—called the Toolbox, where we provide resources you can use today.

If you identified as a perfectionist or a potential procrastinator, here are some resources that might be helpful to you:

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1. First, managing our time can be a matter of breaking down that “big task.”

There are apps, such as Blocos, that let you plan and prioritize tasks with deadlines and time limits that you set yourself. The key is to break tasks down into shorter, more specific steps so you can focus all your attention on a single task.

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2. Therefore, taking care of ourselves is essential to building a healthy relationship with our expectations.

It’s important to stop being so hard on ourselves and take a personal look at where that sense of perfectionism comes from: Who expects us to be perfect? Which of all these factors—social pressures, family expectations, and personal expectations—are affecting us right now?

We recommend some meditation programs focused on this topic so you can find your own answers.

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Mujeres Sin Filtro a platform designed to build community and provide knowledge and tools to women entrepreneurs. We invite you to check out the toolkit and the accompanying article.

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Thank you for your time, and we look forward to seeing you in the next course.

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