At the end of a session on mental health at work, a colleague approached me to ask if I would be interested in writing our next blog post. The topic: Women and the Impostor Syndrome. He had previously done some research, and the more he dug into the topic, the more he realized he wasn't the right person to write about it. Why? Well, because he is a man.

In a matter of seconds, as my partner waited for a response, many thoughts went through my mind: First, I would have a tight deadline, and I'm very slow at writing. Second, surely one of the other girls on the team could do better, they are more feminist than me. Third, this was important, the topic had to be done justice, and I'm not an expert on this. Fourth, I had never experienced Impostor Syndrome before, shouldn't it be better written by someone who has already felt it? Fifth, I didn't want my team to think I wasn't motivated or willing to take on a challenge.

"Ok, I'll do it. As long as the communications team takes the time to read it and promise to tell me in all honesty if what I wrote is garbage, and that someone else better do it."

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At the time I didn't understand how ironic my thoughts were. To me, I wasn't fast enough, feminist enough, expert enough, and even, imposter enough to write this blog.

As soon as my words were in a document ready to be read, AT THAT TIME, I would be discovered and my colleagues would have to find someone else to write it down.

It was only at that moment that I realized: SHIT... I have Impostor Syndrome!

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The Impostor Phenomenon

At Fuckup Nights we are no strangers to the Impostor Syndrome, it is a central aspect in many failure stories that our speakers share, we have even written previously about some Ways to deal with the Impostor Syndrome. And we're not the only ones, just Google the term and you'll find approximately 6 million results. So what happens?

This problem was first coined in 1978 as the "Impostor Phenomenon" by clinical psychologists Clance and Imes, (a term we prefer, as it is not a disease) as an individual's experience of self-perception of being a fraud or a con.

Each achievement signifies a false positive, a result of good luck or coincidence, creating a constant fear of being discovered, of being singled out as a fraud.

The Clance and Imes study focused on high-achieving women, but with little self-awareness of their achievements, and noted that although it is not exclusive of all genders, it is prevalent in women.

In 2020, a KPMG study concluded that 75% of female executives across all industries have experienced the Imposter Phenomenon in their careers. That's 3 out of 4 women, carrying that nagging feeling that at any moment, the curtain will fall and they will be exposed as unworthy of the positions they hold.

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Why do most women feel this way in their professional lives?

First of all, we would like to turn this conversation on its head, raise our hands and admit that we need to adjust our mindset on this topic.

Sharing tips and tricks for dealing with the Impostor Phenomenon is fine, but it only goes so far as treating the symptoms and not the cause of the symptoms. Telling a woman (or anyone for that matter) how to deal with her feelings about the Impostor Phenomenon may empower the person to make a personal change, but it also puts the blame and all the responsibility on the victim, and that's fucked up.

This phenomenon is not a self-inflicted mental disorder (although the name syndrome sometimes suggests otherwise), it is an "experience that happens in an individual [ENG]", but why? Well, it is due to our environment: the family, social, educational and work systems that are sometimes the perfect scenarios for the "Imposter Syndrome" to emerge, so instead of focusing on just "rehabilitating" the victims, we should go straight to the cause and fuck the system!

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Representation matters

The Imposter Phenomenon can begin to develop during harmless childhood moments, such as when a daughter asks her mother for help with math homework and her mother responds with "That's a question for daddy," or when a young woman opts to take a Computer Science and Technology class and all around her discovers that she and another young woman are the only women in the class [ENG].This is a pattern that continues to play out in boardrooms, where in the U.S. alone, women hold only 26.2% of management positions [ENG].

Underrepresentation in our workspaces can increase feelings of self-doubt. For women of color, this problem is even more prevalent. In her article Stop Telling Women They Have Imposter Syndrome, Ruchika Tulshyan explains that it's because "the intersection of our race and gender often puts us in a precarious position at work. Many of us around the world have been told implicitly, if not explicitly, that we don't belong in white male-dominated workplaces."

Women not only face doubt in their work spaces, that feeling sometimes comes hand in hand with the constant pressure of wanting, from the fortunate position they are in, not only to be themselves, but to represent their gender, race, class, sexual orientation, etc. This significantly increases the fear of failure.

So how can we fix this broken system and stop the Impostor Phenomenon before it gets inside our heads?

Our systems and institutions need to change, so that women don't feel that they are feel that they "deserve a place at the table," but rather, that they know they belong there.

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Screwing the system

Let's look at Iceland, a country that leads the way in gender equality [ENG] , with 38% of its parliament made up of women and almost half of management positions held by women (thanks to a mandatory 40% quota). The country has a fair pay policy in which employers have to prove that equal pay for equal work is paid to equal pay for equal team members. This incredible (and logical) law takes the responsibility of asking for fair pay away from the individual (women and those experiencing the Impostor Phenomenon do not have to negotiate their pay) and gives it to employers.

Much still needs to be done to bring equity and support positive mental health in workspaces. PWC's Women in Work 2021 report [ENG] , analyzes the impact of COVID-19 on working women, and estimates that the pandemic set back the progress made by 2017. Making up for this delay by 2030 will require twice as much progress as has been made on average on gender equity issues. Let's all get ready to fuck the system as soon as possible!

Well, we can start by developing more confidence and a willingness to change mindset in our own families. Next time one of my nieces asks me for help with her homework, instead of saying, "I'm terrible at math, ask your dad," I'll say, "Let's figure it out together."

We can be more conscious about how we support and compliment women and girls. We love these 50 ways to give a compliment that doesn't have to do with looks [ENG] (you can also use them on boys 😉 )

And as for my newly self-diagnosed "Imposter Syndrome", I will work on it, after I find out if this blog needs to be rewritten by someone else , because I think I did a pretty good job.

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Want your team to feel safe to have these difficult conversations? As part of The Failure Program, we have a variety of online courses, workshops and private events, plus a survey that will diagnose how they are managing psychological safety and failure in your company. Leave us your details and let's start collaborating to make failure work for you.