Transcript

Resilience or stubbornness?

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Welcome to your "Resilience vs. Stubbornness" course from Mujeres Sin Filtro. We are Fuckup Nights in this course we’ll explore questions such as: What is resilience, really? What are the risks of romanticizing this concept? How does resilience differ from stubbornness?

RESILIENCE: WHAT IS IT?

First, let’s start with the basics: Resilience is the ability we humans have to cope with and adapt to difficult situations.

Although it comes naturally to some people, it is also a skill that can be developed and depends heavily on our environment, context, and community.

Resilience is a quality that is highly valued in today's society. That is why we tend to romanticize it and end up setting unrealistic expectations that encourage stubbornness and overlook other personal factors.

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THE ROMANTICIZATION OF RESILIENCE

A misunderstanding of resilience can lead us to believe that adversity is always necessary. That suffering is beneficial because it serves as a driving force for personal growth.

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Do human beings really want to suffer? And even though the answer may seem obvious when put that way, it’s true that the concept of resilience has been trivialized. It has been misused and misunderstood. Almost like a mantra, we see the phrase “BE RESILIENT” all over social media, in groups, and on forums.

Let's be clear: no one wants or chooses to be resilient; circumstances force us to be.

Susana Espinosa, co-founder of Mujeres Invirtiendo, says that investors are more skeptical of projects led by women entrepreneurs.

They look more closely into the risks our companies might face or question our ability to handle certain conflicts of interest before deciding to invest in our projects.

This leads us to constantly seek out opportunities to grow and validate our ventures, making them more “worthy of investment.”

This definitely made us more powerful and stronger, but… It’s messed up, isn’t it?

Why should we be strong and powerful?

The danger of romanticizing resilience is that we fail to see the circumstances that drive us to it.

And when we fail to see what needs to be seen, we start demanding resilience from ourselves instead of demanding that the circumstances change.

And that works perfectly for the patriarchy… This system perpetuates inequality between women and men (not to mention other gender identities).

So there sits patriarchy, all comfortable, sitting still, not budging an inch and with no intention of changing. Meanwhile, we’re working our butts off trying to be resilient because that’s the new mandate.

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RESILIENCE: A POWERFUL TOOL

Resilience is a powerful tool. Thanks to it, we have achieved great things, and when it comes to entrepreneurship, resilience allows us to keep moving forward with our projects despite the challenges.

But when resilience turns into stubbornness, not only do we fail to move forward, but we also refuse to let go.

Entrepreneurship is a mindset that opens the door to new challenges and new projects; it is what drives us to go beyond where we have already been.

It is what makes a person dissatisfied with who they are and what they have achieved, and as a result, want to achieve even more.

Entrepreneurship is a mindset that opens the door to new challenges and new projects; it is what drives us to go beyond where we have already been.

It is what makes a person dissatisfied with who they are and what they have achieved, and as a result, want to achieve even more.

That is why there is no entrepreneurship without resilience.

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RESILIENCE VS. STUBBORNNESS

To be an entrepreneur, you have to persevere, but when should you stop?

Resilience becomes counterproductive when it turns into an unrealistic expectation that pushes us beyond our limits and takes a toll on our mental health.

Naturally, when faced with adversity, our instinct is to cling to our beliefs, goals, and ideals. However, this behavior can turn into stubbornness.

Stubbornness is what causes us to cling to a situation and insist on our point of view, despite the circumstances or arguments against us.

Now, how can we tell the difference between resilience and stubbornness?

When we’re stubborn about a project or an idea, we start to fall back on biases and attitudes such as:

Believing that our failures are due to circumstances, but that our successes are the result of our own efforts and merits. Relying solely on information that supports our beliefs or decisions. (belief biases) Dismissing opposing views regarding our projects or decisions. Taking feedback as a personal attack. Focusing only on stories and examples of success or extreme resilience. Not being open to dialogue.

In contrast, resilience allows us to:

Take other perspectives and points of view into account without ruling out new solutions. Recognize and distinguish between situations we can control and those we cannot. Set realistic goals. Be willing to ask for help and feedback. Embrace change.

At Mujeres Sin Filtro a section—complementary to this video—called the Toolbox, where we provide resources you can use today. Here you’ll find exercises and activities to help you easily distinguish between resilience and stubbornness.

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CONCLUSION

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Being stubborn means clinging to things without growing. Being resilient, on the other hand, means pursuing our goals in a healthy way. Only then will we know when to stop, when to take a break, and how and whom to turn to for help in solving problems.

Failure is an opportunity to get to know ourselves, to grow, to turn the page, and to discover that we are resilient in the face of adversity.

When we open our hands to let go, we also make room for new opportunities.

Let’s be determined and mindful, so we can all listen to one another. Because we know that’s the first step toward changing our circumstances.

And no, we’re not going to let the patriarchy sit back and watch comfortably.

Thank you for your time, and we look forward to seeing you in the next course.

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Supplementary article for Course 3: Resilience or Stubbornness?

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Would you like to strengthen your diversity, equity, inclusion, and accessibility initiatives? Fill out this form and learn about our Gender Equity Workshop.

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SOURCES:https://www.forbes.com.mx/brechas-de-genero-en-sector-de-inversiones-disminuyen-oportunidades-para-emprendedoras/

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