Supplementary article for Course 4: Perfectionism, Procrastination, and Impostor Syndrome
What if my secret is discovered?
Have you ever felt like you were letting someone down when you achieved something significant? This feeling can manifest in various ways—sometimes by rejecting compliments, or by worrying that people will find out we don’t know enough. Earlier, we discussed perfectionism and procrastination and how, due to gender expectations, we have historically been limited in sharing our potential or feeling comfortable with it. But what about that secret we fear will be discovered? It could be a symptom of something much more complex…
In psychology, we use the term “syndrome” to describe a set of symptoms that manifest in people and typically have negative effects. The now somewhat well-known “imposter syndrome,” a term coined in the 1970s by psychologists Pauline Clave and Suzanne, who identified a tendency among women perceived as socially successful to express that they did not feel brilliant and, on the contrary, that they had deceived anyone who thought otherwise. This syndrome could explain why we feel that the secret we keep (being impostors) could potentially ruin ideas or opportunities, making us feel guilty for not meeting a standard.
It may seem surprising that, statistically speaking, three out of every four women still experience these symptoms half a century later. This syndrome rears its head when we doubt our ability to recognize our own worth and achievements, attributing them to random factors or luck that have nothing to do with our abilities. This amounts to a devaluation of our choices and, consequently, of our decision-making.
There is another concept, “gender order,” which refers to the determination of what is acceptable—what is permitted. Throughout human history, this order has favored the male gender, socially accepting its dominance over diversity. Voting is an example of this order. That is why it is not illogical to think that these “contentious” achievements for many women entrepreneurs are the result of a burden historically attributed to the male gender. In this sense, could perfectionism and procrastination be automatic responses to this order?
A key aspect of this syndrome is that it feels like constant self-reproach, accompanied by a heavy sense of anxiety that our intellectual limitations will eventually come to light and we will be exposed as failures. That everyone will find out that the employment contract was signed solely because the previous interviewee (who had much more experience than I did) wasn’t interested in the position and decided not to continue with the hiring process—and not because I met the requirements of the job description.
Our culture has imbued us with stereotypes that, without even realizing it, we strive to live up to in order to feel accepted and validated. Perhaps this has led us to remain silent when we’ve disagreed with a decision. Maybe it’s caused us to spend hours mulling over everything we could have said to a colleague who offered an opinion on experiences they’ve never had. Or it’s made us question facts we know to be true simply because our credibility was called into question.
Our personal history can also influence how we present ourselves to others. In a world where we’ve been taught that people are judged based on their best faces, photos, jobs, and partners. It’s hard not to constantly remind ourselves that we aren’t good enough to deserve success, unlike perhaps that onda, single coworker or that smart, calm friend. And in that void of self-doubt, we compare ourselves to versions of ourselves that are simply foreign to us and that distance us from our true capabilities.
When we talk about a syndrome, a number of symptoms are implicit. From an emotional perspective, it is a fact that motivation and fear play significant roles in decision-making. When these factors come together, they can have destabilizing effects. It is no coincidence that diagnoses of depression and anxiety are twice as common in women as in other population groups. That is why it is important to recognize the guidelines that have guided us, as this allows us to connect with our beliefs and the actions we take based on them.
The theorist and psychotherapist Albert Ellis recognized that, when faced with the situations we experience, there are beliefs and interpretations that have developed over time, which are not exactly logical or based on objective data. For example, thinking that because you failed once, every time you try it will be the same, and therefore giving up on it. Ellis called these irrational beliefs, to the point that they hinder us from achieving the goals we set for ourselves. If these interpretations are what give meaning to our world, it may be easier to understand how they contribute to the aforementioned syndrome, perfectionism, or procrastination.
Most of us women have been taught from childhood—even before we were born—that we must keep up appearances, be polite, well-groomed, and considerate. That before looking at ourselves, we must look at the person in front of us, and if it is a man, be friendly and helpful. This can lead us to compete with one another and limit our ability to consider other possibilities and ideas. However, it also helps us recognize that this is a collective experience, and thus provides some relief.
Embracing the Symptom As we have discussed throughout this module, binary thinking and irrational ideas may have been present in our consciousness for much longer than we realize. They have led us into cycles that hinder our decision-making, causing us to act without thinking or to doubt ourselves. Perhaps this is where the fear of accepting our capabilities has come from, or the supposed impossibility of acknowledging our flaws and limitations—those that all human beings have.
A first step might be to embrace the symptom, since allowing ourselves to open up from a place of vulnerability can open the door to taking risks and creating. Starting a business in a world that encourages irrational ideas can feel threatening, but that doesn’t make us perpetual impostors. Perhaps revealing our secret could pave the way for peace of mind and creativity, rather than anxiety and self-imposed pressure.
Sources:
https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Carlos-Amadeo-Garcia-Ayala/publication/264421119_Comprendiendo_la_procrastinacion_con_el_Modelo_ABC_de_Albert_Ellis/links/53dd8f6f0cf216e4210c1d57/Comprendiendo-procrastination-using-Albert-Ellis's-ABC-Model.pdf
https://www.forbes.com.mx/forbes-women-3-de-cada-4-mujeres-padecen-el-sindrome-del-impostor/
https://www.paho.org/es/temas/salud-mentalhttps://www.gaceta.unam.mx/que-es-el-sindrome-del-impostor/
Clance, P. R., & Imes, S. A. (1978). The imposter phenomenon in high-achieving women: Dynamics and therapeutic intervention. Psychotherapy: Theory, Research & Practice, 15(3), 241–247. doi:10.1037/h0086006
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