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Why Do We Live in Frustration?: Philosophy and Techniques for Dealing with Frustration

Why Are We So Frustrated at Work and in Life in General? Here Are 6 Techniques to Deal with It.

By:
September 3, 2024
Why Do We Live in Frustration? (And 6 Tips to Deal with It)

There are no secret formulas for success or happiness, just as no infallible hacks to avoid failure, sadness, or anger. Asking not to feel anything at all would be like living without stimuli, without feeling anything, while wanting to have it all.

Frustration is one of those emotions we try so hard to avoid or feel pity for others experiencing it (again, us trying to anesthetize our lives).

Even though it’s not an entirely positive emotion, frustration, at any level, is inevitable and part of our human experience. But... maybe it’s time to look at it from different angles, to question it, and rethink it.

What if frustration is an angry and desperate dream waiting for fulfillment? What if it’s an uncomfortable spark capable of igniting a complete revolution in our lives?

In this article, we’ll talk about frustration, what it is, and why we are so frustrated at work and life. I’ll also share with you six techniques to turn frustration into action.

What is Frustration?

Frustration is an emotion like any other. It stems from stress and arises when any situation in daily life doesn’t go as expected. Whether it’s the bus that ignored us on our way to work or an unexpected change in a project that took us so long.

Frustration can depend on two factors:

  • Internal Factors: These include our skills, disposition, and the expectations we have of ourselves.

  • External Factors: This encompasses everything beyond our control, including the environments around us and the people within them.

Just as failure often originates from fear, frustration mainly stems from the anger and sadness of not fulfilling our expectations as we desire.

You have likely encountered people who are constantly angry or upset. One common explanation is that these individuals live in frustration—frustrated by not being who they want to be or not having what they want. Frustration is often seen as an embarrassing and undesirable emotion that we quickly hide from others.

And while it is a negative emotion, frustration, in short, is an alarm that signals a discrepancy between reality and our expectations.

Perhaps we feel frustration because we are not meant to be content.

Why Are We Frustrated?

Beyond asking what triggers our frustration, we should ask why we react poorly to the emotions it provokes. Here are some reasons:

  • Personal Temperament: Some people are more explosive or melancholic than others, and our relationship with frustration may depend on this personality trait.

  • Social Context: Factors like your culture, job position, gender, age, and more can create expectations—either self-imposed or from others—that lead to frustration when obstacles arise.

  • Fear: Fear of being authentic and facing judgment, or fear of the consequences of being honest about our emotions and disagreements.

  • Parental Models: Some behaviors and ways of dealing with obstacles were shaped by what we learned during childhood. Our reaction to frustration may be one of those inherited behaviors.

  • Lack of Emotional Recognition: Sometimes, there’s difficulty in openly expressing negative emotions, either due to the mistaken belief that it’s unpleasant for others or because there’s simply no vocabulary or skill to identify and manage them.

Frustration at Work

Frustration in the workplace is a common experience that can affect us personally and entire teams. Given that our work environments are composed of people with different personalities and backgrounds, frustration can be triggered by anything from a meeting that could have been an email to feeling professionally stuck in a particular area.

Depending on how we react, frustration at work can manifest in silent attitudes, such as low participation, or phenomena like Quiet Quitting. Or even in more visible symptoms likes aggressive communication or directly confrontational behaviors.

From our experience working with various organizations aiming to improve their organizational culture, we have identified some common reasons for frustration in the workplace:

  • Lack of clarity in expectations and objectives: This leads to confusion and a sense of helplessness.

  • Work overload: This can result in feeling overwhelmed and not having enough time or resources to complete assigned tasks.

  • Lack of recognition or appreciation for effort: This can decrease motivation and increase dissatisfaction.

  • Imbalanced power dynamics and lack of effective communication: These create a toxic work environment where people feel their voices are not heard and their contributions are not valued.

Whenever our clients invite us into their companies, we find that Psychological Safety is crucial—for preventing frustration but also to help manage it.

Remember that psychological safety allows for transparency and honesty without fear of repercussions. This quality in a company directly addresses one of the main reasons we often feel frustrated: the inability to express our emotions.

How to Deal with Frustration at Work (and in Life)

Now, the big question that remains is... How do we manage frustration in our lives?

As you might have guessed by now, frustration is an emotion that will always be present in our lives, even if we manage to adjust all our expectations to something more realistic. The key to dealing with frustration is a better management of our reaction to it.

Don’t worry, we’re not just going to philosophize today—I did my research and want to summarize the best techniques I found for dealing with frustration:

  • Anticipate Scenarios and Solutions: Properly managing failures isn’t just about handling the ones that have already happened but also those that might occur. While this doesn’t guarantee anything, anticipating scenarios and solutions can reduce stress and frustration when obstacles arise.

If you want to learn more about failure management, take the first step by bringing Fuckup Nights to your company. We organize fun yet cathartic events.
Learn more here.

  • Acknowledge It: You can likely recognize when a situation makes you feel sad or angry, but frustration may not be the first emotion that comes to mind. When acknowledging frustration, you can identify a discrepancy between reality and your expectations, and it might be time to adjust them.

  • Seek Alternatives: Just as you can anticipate scenarios and solutions, you may need to find other ways to achieve your goals. You might even need to reconsider your objectives. Be realistic and flexible.

  • Engage in Pleasant Activities: Shifting out of a frustration mindset is possible by momentarily distancing yourself from what is affecting you and engaging in cathartic or simply distracting activities. Meditation and breathing exercises are excellent techniques for this.

  • Remember, You Don’t Have All the Control: Like failure, frustration will occur, and you won’t always have control over situations. It’s a hard but liberating lesson—accept that you can’t control everything.

  • Recognize Your Own and Others’ Limits: Part of knowing you don’t have control over everything is recognizing that there are limits to your abilities and capacities and limits set by others and situations. And that’s okay.

We must be willing to feel frustrated as much as necessary to get out of where we are not meant to be. That said, we need to know how to manage what frustration makes us feel and be clear that something needs to be done about it.

Frustration may simply be discomfort with the potential to spark action. Perhaps it serves as a reminder that we don’t want to be complacent, yet we also need to adjust our expectations of reality.

Edited by

Why Do We Live in Frustration?: Philosophy and Techniques for Dealing with Frustration
Ricardo Guerrero
Media Editor & Newsletter Coordinator
Content & typos creator. He probably posted this blog by himself, and thinks it's awkward to write his own bio. Fuckuppin's mom.
funfunfunfun

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