The ability to overcome any challenge, face every obstacle and persevere against all odds. But does it have limits?
The tennis bronze between Serbia and Spain, Novak Djokovic and Pablo Carreño, respectively representing their countries, is being disputed at Tokyo 2020. Djokovic is furious, his title as the world number one is lost and this clash is the only hope not to be left out of the podium.
The score is no longer in his favor and there is tension on the court. A few moments ago he threw his racket into the stands (empty because of the pandemic). Carreño serves and after exchanging the ball, Djokovic makes a bad shot.
Out of pure frustration, the Serbian tennis player crashes his second racket against the net post and smashes it. After the defeat, there is a lot of talk about his reaction and he responds:
"I guess it's part of who I am...I don't like to do these things. I'm sorry to send these kinds of messages but we're all human beings and sometimes it's hard to control your emotions."
Djokovic later withdraws from the doubles competition with a suspected shoulder injury, robbing teammate Nina Stojanovic of the chance to take bronze. No medals in tennis for Serbia in these Olympics.
Nothing symbolizes success better than a trophy or a medal. The climax of effort. The glittering reward at the end of the road.
That is what we all aspire to in life, to reach the ultimate frontier of our merits, and it is also what is required of us. You start your studies and are expected to finish with honors. You start a family and are expected to have a house and maybe a couple of children. You play a sport and are expected to win gold. Otherwise, maybe you're not as successful, maybe you're not as good at what you do, maybe you shouldn't call yourself a professional or number one in the world.
The Olympics at Tokyo 2020 gave a lot to talk about. Among many things, they were the first Olympics to be postponed since 1896 (due to the Covid-19 pandemic). But if there is anything unusual about this edition, it is the indelible conversation about mental health that its athletes generated.
Much has already been said about Simone Biles, the U.S. gymnast who withdrew from the individual all-around and team all-around finals in gymnastics due to mental health issues. That she served up gold on a platter for her opponents, in the words of some. An opportunity to open up this mental health issue once and for all, say others.
And it is impossible not to generate noise. The world-class gymnast, the high-performance athlete, resigning for her mental health. Impossible. There are no limits to resilience. You have to fight, ignore those voices in your head and get through it. There are no excuses. Maybe many can afford it, but not an Olympic athlete.
Days before his defeat against Pablo Carreño, Novak Djokovic commented that "Pressure is a privilege," after being asked about Biles' decision:
"Without it (pressure) there would be no professional sport. If your goal is to be at the top of your sport, it's best to start learning how to deal with pressure and difficult moments, both on and off the track."
It's a vicious cycle. You sign up for a competition or maybe you apply for a job and now you're part of a system that rewards big winners and you agree to carry the weight on your shoulders. You have to live up to expectations, yours and others'.
Now something is expected of you.
Times have changed. There is now more recognition of the importance of mental health in making the grade. It's common to find more support resources in companies and schools, even within the Olympics themselves. Now all these competitions, all these systems are more compassionate and understanding.
The concept of resilience is also more present. It is a good card to justify all kinds of demands, even toxic ones. And if we do not meet them, it also makes us feel guilty for those failures.
Dominique Moceanu, a competitor at the Atlanta 1996 Olympic Games, shared her experience at the age of 14 with the BBC:
"Simone's decision made me think about that moment and how there was no compassion, no care and no voice. I wasn't allowed to say I was in pain until I collapsed."
Now we don't just reward achievement and success, now we reward achievement and perseverance, success and resilience, internal struggles, heroic juggling between the personal and the professional.
Resilience is sacred and diligent. It has no limits, and it is infallible. You have Xanax and a therapist, that's all you need. Don't stop, you'll tell us from the winner's podium how you fought to get here.
The day Simone Biles decided to quit the competition, Google searches on mental health reached a two-month high. How did she give up? Why didn't she fight? Where was the resilience?
Much is expected of the Olympians. For or against Biles' decision, the Olympics are a spectacle that we bet on and demand like gladiators in the arena, someone has to win, someone has to be the best. Someone has to win, someone has to be the best of the best. Where does this demand come from?
We don't just expect a lot from high-performance athletes. Are you an entrepreneur? We want to see a new unicorn company born. You claim to be an artist? You must make a living at it and win awards.
The Olympics happen every day for anyone who has to excel in the most relevant aspect of his or her life. And the demands are at the same level of an Olympics.
There are, figuratively speaking, medals to be hung around the neck. And you're not allowed to give up. You can flank and be vulnerable, in fact it's good material for a reality show, it builds character. You can break, but you can't give up.
Competencies, ourselves and others define expectations, from which derive a series of demands that, ironically, interfere with these same expectations by generating mental health problems. It is a vicious circle that is difficult to break, as to do so is to break the norm and be labeled a failure.
We are perpetuating this culture of effort and also that of resilience as a universal remedy for any obstacle.
Resilience has boundaries that vary from person to person and there is no system that can define them,and for this reason we must be willing to include and understand how varied these boundaries can be.
Today more than ever there is talk of setting healthy limits and perhaps that is the way forward. Although we should also put on the table what are the consequences of doing what is good for us andif that is something we should also change. Like "losing a gold" for example. But what price is it worth?
Do you want your team to be motivated by day-to-day failures or mistakes? As part of The Failure Program, we have a variety of online courses, workshops and private events, as well as a survey that will diagnose how you are managing failure in your company. Leave us your details and let's start collaborating to make failure work for you.
Edited by
Santiago da Silva Évora
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Let's transform our perception of failure and use it as a catalyst for growth.
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